My New Haircut

I went to the barber shop today. I was getting a bit hirsute in the facial department and my hair was out of control to the point where I had to buy a jug of hair gel to keep it under wraps. So you could say I was overdue for a trim. I walked in, sat in the nearest barber chair and the guy turns to me, “okay boss, what would you like?” “Just a little off the top to tame it down a bit, and the sides can be trimmed quite a bit,” I replied. He turned to get his equipment ready and I strained to get my head in the line of sight with the mirror across the room that didn’t quite line up with the chair. He started with the sides; hair was falling onto my shoulders and sliding down the drape with each stroke of the shaving shears. I strain a bit more to see the mirror—it looked great. He started making his way up to the top of my head, “hey boss, you want me to even this out for you?” He asked. I replied in the affirmative, while thinking to myself, “well, of course, I’m not really looking for a lopsided or asymmetric haircut here.” That must have been code for something that was lost in military to civilian translation because the next thing I knew he took a swift and broad stroke with the clippers in the mid-sagital plane. I couldn’t object… it was too late. A negative mohawk was created in one fell swoop. He must have sensed my terror, “is that okay, boss?” “Yeah, sure. That’s even alright,” was all I could say. He continued to mow down the rows of long hair remaining, and in doing so he rotated my chair about its axis about 90 degrees.

At this vantage point I was staring directly at a sign no further than 3 feet away that had in big block letters “MILITARY HAIRCUTS ONLY.” I couldn’t help but laugh.


In the end it didn’t look bad at all, I mean he did a good job and all. I was just taken off guard a bit. Anyway the haircut was free, like most services on the ship… I guess you get what you pay for.


Bon Voyage,
~Nic